If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
