Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My ass is underappreciated
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
