She just used a chaser for red wine.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
