he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
jump out the window naked night went bad
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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