we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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