They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Is it because I queefed?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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