i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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