just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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