She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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