whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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