I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
