Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
