Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
