she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
