There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
worst night to have a conscience
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
