I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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