I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
