Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
