I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Found your dick twin last night
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
