: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
