i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
