People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
