please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
