It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
