There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
