dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
