Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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