Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
