we're chasing vodka with high fives
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
