Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
