There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
