Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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