My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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