Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I need water and some morals
Randomize
