I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
