I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
