whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
