Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
