Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Someone came in the potted fern
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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