i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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