Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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