don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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