you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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