Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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