The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
True college students do jello shots in the library
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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