who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
