so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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