She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
