btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
