Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
