I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
