I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
